Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that my top two most popular pod casts were released three days apart: “Procrastination” and “If you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?” I believe that both concepts reflect a society-wide betrayal of “self”.
You would think that we would honor our relationships to ourselves first. I’m talking about life affirming self-respect, rather than conceit or narcissism (both of which are actually indicative of wounds in the area of self-esteem). While many don’t realize the importance of honoring a relationship to “self”, the impact of neglecting that relationship is found everywhere.
We can say things to ourselves that would end the relationship with another person…
In my line of work, I hear lots of negative self-talk from self-recriminations & judgments, impatience, curses, and a lack of compassion. Most of us, on occasion, say things to ourselves that would entirely alienate another person without a thought about how it affects ourself! When was the last time you called yourself, “stupid” or an “idiot”? Would you say that to anyone else as lightly as you say it to yourself? Not a chance, right? So, why do you say it to yourself?
By not honoring your commitments to yourself, you are feeding your negative self-talk
Much of your self-defeating behavior is motivated by your mean words and your disrespect. It’s a vicious circle. You berate yourself for something, act out because you’re mad at yourself, don’t take care of yourself, and then berate yourself some more… Ouch!
When you don’t find yourself lovable, you don’t expect others to love you…
How to start:
How do we heal this important relationship? It’s the same as healing a relationship with another: clarity in communication and goals, forgiveness, love, patience, understanding, loving kindness, honor, respect, trust and compassion, to name a few.
What to do? Do your best as often as you can and if it doesn’t work out exactly as you had hoped (because sometimes it won’t), have compassion and forgive yourself… you’re learning. You wouldn’t yell at a toddler every time they fell down would you? Then get out there and do your best again.
Just as compassion is the first step in healing the world, it’s the first step along the road to healing your relationship to your self… one person at a time… You…
Always infinite possibilities… always your choice.