When is Self-Help Procrastination?

– Posted in: Living in Choice, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Procrastination & Overwhelm

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.—Mark Twain
“They” say you should “Let people know who you are on your blog,” so here goes… (This post is likely to piss some of you off, but then that’s the risk I take in being “real”, eh?)

I sat down today to begin to write my first ever free e-book. Immediately, I got lost… I mean immediately. No sooner had I placed my butt in the chair than I thought, “What the heck am I going to write about?” and I turned to my website for ideas.

My most popular post/podcast to date is still my piece “Procrastination.” As I re-read it, I thought, “The column width is way too wide and, come to think of it, I could really use some pull quotes in this piece…” So, I went into WordPress and found this cool plugin that does pull quotes, installed it, figured out how to use it and relaid out the entire Procrastination piece…

Why can’t we just read about how to heal our relationships and be “all better”?

Oy! You see what I mean, people? We coaches fall into the “procrastination trap” too! So, let’s apply some of the “learning” I reveal in the Procrastination piece to myself shall we?

Why did I really spend the last two hours re-working an old post? Sure, we could lay the blame at the feet of “I didn’t know what to write…” But is that the whole truth?

As we explored in my above mentioned piece, what was I really feeling that led to the procrastination?

Lost, overwhelmed by the task, and a little insecure.

I want to provide value to you, and I’m hoping if I can reach you with an e-book then I’ll be able to help even more of you lead happier lives through Astrology! Quite frankly, I want to provide this value while not “giving away the farm” as all my friends keep saying to me.

But what’s the real danger with “giving it away”? When professionals give too much away, you don’t think you need to reach out to anyone. Why is this a problem? Consider this…

When we are challenged by an area of our lives, we go onto the web and we look for “answers”.

Most of our challenges exist within our relationships with ourselves, or with others.

Now, this makes sense on the surface, right? The internet has a wealth of possible “answers” for many things… we can read about:

  • Healing relationships
  • How to speak to others
  • When to speak and when to listen…
  • Why we Procrastinate… (ahem)

I mean, the available “advice” is literally endless. So how come all this “advice” is never enough? Why can’t we just read about how to heal our relationships and be “all better”?

What the internet can’t do, what no “text” on it’s own can do, is heal our relationships.

Self-help, on it’s own, is just another form of procrastination.

What’s the root of the the word “relationship”?
R-E-L-A-T-E. Look it up, it means: “To find or show a connection between two or more people or things.”

“Two or more people…”

When you are alone reading “advice” you are not relating to someone else. Even though there is an implied relationship between reader and writer, we are separated; there is no true give and take. The “give” happened when I wrote this, and you get to “take” it, or not. You can “give back” in the comment section of this blog (which I love), but if you are looking to heal your relationships, you will need to do that with a real person: not a book, not a website, not a podcast, not a YouTube video.

No matter how objective you think you can be, you can never be as objective about yourself, and what you’re up to, as someone else.

Now, understand me here… much of the material out there in the “self-help” world is tremendously valuable information. I’ve read a ton of it myself. I would even say that many of the authors are divinely inspired, and I mean that most sincerely!

Our culture has become so “in love” with “self-help” books that we even have a new term for the phenomenon: “Biblio-therapy” or receiving therapy from a book. And I really do get why this feels easier… but self-help, on it’s own, is just another form of procrastination.

If you want to heal your relationship to relating you’re going to have to talk to another person.

So… A little pressure on my e-book, eh? Do you see my challenge in striking a Libra balance?
Write an informative e-book, without saying so much that you think you can continue to procrastinate without having to change what you know is getting in your way.

How can you tell if you’re just procrastinating? If nothing has changed…

Change is hard (believe me, I know!) and you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. Really, you don’t. But if you want to improve your life, then you’re going to have to make some changes working with a real person.
Or… You can continue to procrastinate with another e-book/self-help book/blog-post/audible book/podcast/youtube video…

The choice is Yours.

(Hey maybe there’s a subject for an e-book here after all?)

 

Always infinite possibilities, always your choice.

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